#1. Taking my baby steps in French-English translation I bring to you:
American English ( that weed spreading in the British linguistic garden) explained by a linguistics scholar from Bretagne. Check out my difficulties dealing with French comma usage!
"A force that attracts, not by its intellectual strength, but, like tabloids, pornographic films, drugs, Pandora’s Box or the apple held out first by Satan and then by Eve, by its novelty and then its capacity to stir up our unhealthy curiosities. Maybe even immoral!"
I read all ten pages of this beauty basking in his poetic descriptions of my language ( real English is the language of Shakespeare, but Americans don't understand this). He positively out does himself with metaphor. I only hope that he succumbed and can actually speak American English.
#2. How do you like your cream?
My host mom eats butter pretty much straight. She most frequently cuts cheese sized hunks of it to put on grilled bread-y bits which she floats in her chicory. She puts a good 1/4 cup of it into our vegetables, in the soup, rice, potatoes, in chocolate. There is a pat of it in and on everything. With this in mind, I was surprised the other night to see her cooking my egg in olive oil ( ditto with greasing the cake pan). We had roughly the following conversation :
me: " you don't cook your eggs in butter?"
L: " No"
me: " I just thought that since you like butter so much you'd make your eggs in it"
L ( insulted): "What do you mean I like butter so much? I never cook with butter--it's bad for you. I am very careful about this. Do people do that in American?"
I should add that I like eating butter with my host mom, this was just a rather confusing conversation which taken at face value seems to suggest that cooking with butter is bad while eating it good. Either that or my host mom cannot resist the butter dish when she is at the table. In any case, I cannot resist the Camembert which I eat in the same quantity and on the same bread-y bits as she her butter. Note to all enthusiasts: if you are modeling data in French using a pie chart, you refer to each section as simply "a camembert."
#3. How all things ( despite the labeling) actually come from Bretagne: the subject of my history class which I have felt necessary to re-name from " France in the world" to" France at the center of the world."
Ever wondered where your Parmesan cheese comes from? Probably not because it is a controlled origin substance ie only Parmesan if made in that little chunk of Italy. However in this day and age of globalization and the unquestionable innovation of the Breton people not to mention their unparalleled cheese-making skills and the actual unremarkable nature of Parmesan which makes it easy to knock off, that Parmesan actually comes from a factory in Bretagne. The Italians no longer make cheese, only lables.
Butter: the Chinese know what good butter is. It comes from Bretagne and they import it secretly because of trade restictions. However, nothing else will do.
Pork: Breton pork is the pride of the region. Ham you think is Italian is actually Breton raised and shipped to Italy via refrigerated trucks which crowd a particular intersection in Rennes every day at 18h00. Once the convoy reaches Italy, the Italians dress up the pork and sell it.
#4. Aspects of colonialism and global French activities explained: why I was writhing during my two hour stint of France in the World this evening.
a) The French built the Panama canal, but they " didn't arrive at paying for it." American banks bought them out. No mention of the huge French bank scandal associated with the Panama canal, the faulty design plans and malaria all which did the French in. Yeah the Americans got in there with their new money and Big Stick Diplomacy aspirations, but there was a bit of engineering envolved on their part...
b) The French emancipated all the slaves in their Empire in 1848. Because they all wanted to be French citizens and the French could not deny the logic of their desires.
c) The slaves "came" from Africa to work on the sugar plantations like it was a garden party. How droll. I disagree with the verb choice which he used repetedly.
This list goes on and on. My professor simply amazes me with his opinions on the world and his knowlege of Breton beet production. Despite the fact that I am banging my head on the desk during his class, he is actually really nice and keeps inviting us into his office to practice our French and partake in his vast knowledge. I am convinced he knows everything about France, most things about Europe, lots about Asia and a fair bit about the U.S. He has lived in Vietnam and traveled in Asia extensively. He vacations in Italy where he enjoys Breton products with Italian labling( ditto with Breton butter in China). He stage manages Roman ruins in Rennes and is the only person who remembers that there is a random Roman wall chunk in the court-yard of the languages building at Univerité de Rennes II. He even likes the EU. I cannot fit this man into any kind of mold, therefore it is probably good that I sit in his class and become overwhelmed by the choice bits of information he purveys. Wonders never cease.
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